Day Two: Sweat

My stomach still feels like it is recovering from my binge on Tuesday, but hopefully I'll feel more normal today. I'm deciding to be thankful for the awful hangover because it will be a great reminder for why I'm doing this.

I live in the desert, so it is getting really hot here. Despite many days of not drinking this month I'm still struggling to get up early enough to run before work, which I try to start at 7:30am. This struggle isn't mysterious, if I want to get up I have to get to bed early, and it is stiflingly hot until around 8pm, so that pushes out the cooking of dinner and evening workouts. I've tried napping after work, but it doesn't always work out well.

Another option is to give up on the mornings and run at night, but something about it scares me. In winter I went running here after sunset all the time, I've got all kinds of glow belts and high-viz gear to make that safe. When I lived in a city it was  not crazy to go for a night run - there were sidewalks and streetlights and people out. Here there are snakes, coyotes, off leash yard dogs and gun-toting neighbors who all scare me, especially when I don't really know anyone and my partner is away for work. I was planning to do an 8 mile speed workout (3 mile warmup, 4x 1 mile hard and a cooldown) and I just didn't. I hopped on the bike and watched a Queer Eye episode.

Basically I've just been getting on my stationary bike for 30 minutes each day. I am still thanking my January self for buying a stationary spin bike for 200 bucks on craigslist - it is a little wonky, but I've made a little cheapskate peloton bike for myself with a laptop stand. I like indoor biking because I don't have to think too hard about a route, and in the later morning  it keeps me out of the sun, and at night I can avoid wildlife. Old me would say, 30 minutes is a decent warm-up and it is only a workout if you break 45 minutes. In this heat I end up with a puddle of sweat far before then.

I had been sticking to a training plan, I theoretically have a half marathon in two months, and I was hoping to break into the top 50 to make it onto the first page of the results. Last year I finished 51st out of over 1600 women running, and I've been getting faster every year. But last week I went back to the gym and did a deadlift workout that left me so sore I really couldn't do much for the rest of the week, and now I've kinda given up on sticking to my plan. I don't think I'm going to PR this year. I'm not even sure I'm going to get to race this year, so part of me thinks I should just focus on joyful exercise instead of feeling pressure. But....there is a local race in October that is being run for the first time. Depending on the field and number of participants it might be possible for me to try to win it...

I realize that I'll sound like a maniac to anyone who is doesn't like exercise or running. I'll just say that for me it is meditative, social (except during a pandemic) and a huge motivator for staying sober.

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