%^&*! Day One, Again

I biffed it. One of the hardest times to not drink is when I'm home alone, and I'm alone all week this week while my partner is out for a work. The buzzard doesn't really come at me as hard, when he is here. Drinking, two days in a row, and I went harder last night. I'm starting this blog at 3am, and I'm awake feeling hung over already and sitting with a case of the regrets. There is a storm in my gut.

There is so much I wanted to do today, and it is going to be that much harder. I wanted good sleep, so I could get a ton done before my first meeting of the day. I wanted to get up early enough to run before it gets hot, but I think that is going to be hard and painful.

I hadn't been counting days in these posts, because I've been stringing together some sober days at a time,  as I work up to a Dry July. I didn't have a great streak, but maybe that is something I should prioritize. I think I need to start counting now. June 24th here we go. This relapse is a gift, this is a learning experience for me. This is something I had to learn the hard way: going back to drinking isn't going to work. It is something that I heard, but didn't believe before.

If I need more help then I will find it, because this is something worth doing. If I need to try meetings I can, if I need to find a buddy I will. For now here is a list of my biggest triggers, and working on a list of strategies


Trigger
 Passive Strategy
 Proactive Strategy
 Reactive Strategy
 Substitutes
 Home Alone
Don't keep booze on hand, especially beer in the fridge. Or keep NA drinks ready
Make advance plans for scheduled activity or workouts
Read sobriety blogs, look for encouragement, Marco Polo message a friend
Cup of Tea, Seltzer
 TV Shows with Drinking
Make plans to  something else.
 Scope shows for drinking before watching
Pause, change the channel
Mocktails, NA beer, Pomegranate Juice
 Parents and small social gatherings
Plan around mornings or workouts. Don't plan meetups at breweries
Be honest and upfront about not drinking
Don't take sips of drinks offered
 Treats to share, coffee, soft drinks
Bigger parties
 Don't seek these out, and don't go if you don't think it will be fun
Be upfront about not drinking, Bring NA options
Leave early if you aren't having fun
Diet Coke, NA beer, Seltzer

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